


My Murderous Boyfriend Who Lives In My Head

by Tangerine_Catnip



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Happy Ending AU, M/M, Male Solo, Mind Control, Mind Meld, POV First Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post Game AU, Sex Toys, dragon dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:11:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4019287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine_Catnip/pseuds/Tangerine_Catnip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just an average evening for Leslie and Ruvik. Until a very special package arrives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Murderous Boyfriend Who Lives In My Head

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a fair bit less serious then my usual stuff. characters are a bit OOC for the sake of the smut. Canon is willfully ignored for the sake of a sappy happy ending with dildos. Because why not?

It feels strange riding the train every day. Less than two years ago the train seemed unearthly and magical. A bridge between my home and the misery and isolation of Beacon. You step into the small tube, wait for a while, and then you're someplace else. With no real idea of how the place you left connects to the one you arrived in.

I had hoped for so long to ride the train again. Not for the experience of riding it, but because I believed it was a magic portal. My only way back home.

How I thought of it was a lot like how STEM worked actually. One way in and, only one way out. And it was just my luck the only way out was through me.

Ruvik isn't paying attention to my musings. He doesn't care for reminiscing on the past. Even the happier memories. He buries them all so the past stays dead. Where he thinks it can't hurt him anymore.

Ruvik is watching the people on the train around us. I let him have our eyes, content to see what he wants to. He scans a couple on the seats across from us, noting the slight downward twitch of the female's lips when her male companion puts his arm around her shoulders. She's hiding it, but she's not completely comfortable with him.

People watching is one of Ruvik's favorite actives. Well, if you don't count everything to do with physical intimacy. But I won't let him do any of those things when we're in public.

The groceries containing tonight's dinner are starting to weigh on our shoulders. I carry them in a backpack since carrying the plastic grocery bags on the train is awkward and even harder on the arms.

I try to take up as little space as possible and blend into the crowd whenever we're out. But it's hard not to draw attention with our looks. I try not to get frustrated with people who gawk at us, or try to take pictures of us when they think we're not looking. Most people have never seen an albino before and it's easy for them to forget we're a person to. One who just wants to get home and hates being the center of attention.

Ruvik's focus shifts from his observation of a young girl angrily tapping at her cellphone. My thoughts must have been emotional enough to draw his concern.

'You try too hard to forgive them. They treat us like a circus act. As if we are only here to amuse them with idiosyncrasies.'

I suck gently on our bottom lip. This is one of the many issues that Ruvik and I disagree on. We've been sharing a body for almost two years now, and in that time we've learned each other's boundaries.

Ruvik will voice his opinion but he won't act on it, not unless I agree with him. He knows how much I hate to cause a scene in public. He's felt my panic and anxiety firsthand more times than I can count. He might even understand my reactions better than I do.

But for now Ruvik's cutting remarks about the more obnoxious of our public admirers are spoken for me alone to hear. Some of them are funny I will admit. I get more than a few looks for giggling or smiling at seemingly random moments.

I've been told by people I see often (coffee shop workers, our landlord, and so on.) that it's almost scary how little I speak. I counted once and it's not unusual to go almost a month with only nods of my head. No one understands that I'm speaking all the time, communicating every thought and feeling I have. It's just they can see who I'm talking to. Or even hope to comprehend the form my messages take.

When you've grown used to a symbiotic connection with a second conciseness you lose interest in making mouth sounds and reading body language reading. The primitive excises for communication for the rest of humanity use. Not that I was ever good with it to begin with.

Ruvik prods me. Reminding me that our stop is next. I send him a small ripple of thanks in return. He's realized I'm having one of those days where I get lost in thought and can easily forget things.

Honestly, I don't think I could have handled myself out in the world if I didn't have Ruvik to help me. Without him I'd have panic attacks on the middle of crowded city streets. Without him I would have fallen into the hands of people who wanted to use and hurt me.

I alight onto the platform, then take the steps up to the city streets. We're not vary far from our apartment. The neighborhood is a good one, away from the central business district, but also far from suburban Krimson city.

It's an expensive neighborhood too. At least by the standards of an apparently unemployed albino with social anxiety so deeply rooted that he can't say even so hello to people when passing him in the hallway.

Luckily for me, my landlord doesn't ask questions. Because there's no way I can explain that my rent is paid from the remains of a vast family fortune inherited by my murderous boyfriend. One who is currently living inside my mind after his body was destroyed by an evil multinational corporation. Yes, the same one that is being investigated by the FBI. No, I didn't have anything to do with that.

Ruvik cuts off my train of thought in the middle of my imaginary conversation. For the most part he lets me have my own thoughts, but he knows to step in when I get to distracted or start to spiral.

I don't pass anyone on the way through the lobby and up the elevator. I can't wait to start making dinner. I've gotten all the ingredients I needed to make my favorite quiche recipe. Just thinking about it makes us hungry.

A fit my key into the lock and turn, the door swings open easily but catches on something on the other side. I step around the wooden divider and find a package had been fitted through our mail slot.

It only takes a brief glace at the unmarked box to tell me what it is. Ruvik purrs softy in my mind sending a shiver down my spine.

'It came early.'

A tiny argument starts between us, but in less than a second, it's over. A compromise reached. We will put the groceries away, but dinner can wait till after we open this little gift to ourselves.

I skip to the kitchen and unzip my backpack. Placing the fresh carton of eggs into the fridge along with the new milk jug and the fruits and vegetables.

Once the last of the food is in its proper place, I dig into the silverware drawer and find a knife. I used to be scared of knives, but Ruvik holds it with me. It feels as natural to him. A tool to create or destroy.

Right now though, we just need it to slice some tape.

I kneel on the floor, too excite to bring the brown cardboard box back to the kitchen. The sharp serrated edge makes short work of the package. A place the knife on the floor and pull open the flaps.

My fingers close around rounded silicon. We lapse into a mutual mental silence as I pull our new toy from the protective packaging.

It's bigger than I expected. Ruvik smirks at me, insisting that it's not. I'm only getting cold feet now that it's in front of me and not just an image on a laptop screen.

I place it on the floor next to the box and start to pull off my hoodie. The oversized and comfortable garment provides a shield when I have to leave our home. I won't need it now that the doors are locked and we're alone.

Once my hoodie is off I start on my pants. I pop open the button and push down my boxers until all of my lower tummy is visible. I'm following Ruvik's whim, but I want to do this to. My own curiosity is almost always a match for his.

I lay back against the wall and place the sizable sex toy on my belly. Trying to line it up the way it will be when it's in use. It feels heavy and solid and the tapered tip reaches a few inches passed my bellybutton.

The shaft has ridges in an intricate pattern all the way up, it curves ever so slightly towards the tip and flares out right before the base. Suffice to say, it's exotic, the kind of thing that both intimidates and tempts.

Ruvik and I were both tempted. But Ruvik knows how the human body works. Something like this requires you to work towards it.

Having lost one body already Ruvik is extremely sensitive about our health. But there are ways to do this safely and he's walked me through the process of using larger and larger toys in preparation. I've spent countless nights bonded with Ruvik in ecstasy in order to reach this moment.

Each of those nights was their own reward but having them all lead up to this ratchets up the excitement. So much so that it drowns out any measure of trepidation.

Ruvik asks for the mirror. No, actually, he demands it. Not that it matters because I would never refuse him after we've both waited so long for this.

I take the new toy in my hand and make my way to the bedroom. Across from the bed is a huge mirror almost as large as the wall itself.

By nature I'm as far from a narcissist as anyone could care to be. But while I don't love myself or my body, Ruvik does, and this is for him.

He directs me towards the bottom drawer of our wardrobe, the place Ruvik likes to call 'the toybox'. He tells me we need to use the water based lube. Something about chemical reactions and silicon. I'm not really listening. My hands are trembling a bit. Ruvik steadies them, warmth flooding my body as he makes our heartrate slow back down. Calming my nerves from the inside out.

My pants are starting to fall off, so I help them on they're way. Then I'm on my knees in front of the mirror. Looking myself in our cool blue eyes.

Ruvik kisses me. A slight tingle across our lips. I hold the exotically shaped toy in my hands unsure how to start. I can feel Ruvik roll his eyes at me, but he's enjoying it. It's been a long time since I needed him to hold my hand for something like this.

'Get a pillow from the bed. Rest it behind your head and lie with your legs open. You still need to warm up, and I want to watch.'

I do what he asks. The mirror feels cold against the bottoms of my bare feet. From this angle I can see everything without having to strain my neck. Ruvik takes control, deciding he would like to do this for me. Before we shared my body Ruvik would always delight in preparing me and that hasn't changed.

He turns us onto our side and curling up to make to easer to reach between our legs. He coats both our hands with lube. At this rate the bottle will be empty soon.

One hand wraps around our cock. Moving at a deliberately slow pace so we can both focus. Ruvik prods our opening gently. Unable to resist a bit of teasing. Without a second thought I plead with him. I don't have a scrap of pride when he comes to sex anymore. I'll beg for whatever Ruvik offers me.

Ruvik blushes off my pleading, penetrating us with two fingers. I keep my head still, watching myself in the glass. Even with our minds connected I still don't fully understand why Ruvik relishes this view so much. All I see is a tiny albino man covered in scars, making ugly faces as he gets himself off.

Ruvik moves on to three fingers a moment later, but he's nearing the end of how much preparation he can do with only our hands. Sometimes we dwell longer on this. Ruvik likes to seek out my sweet spot and experiment to find the limits of my reactions to rubbing it. Today though that task is going to be left to the ridges on our new toy.

Ruvik growls and huffs inside our head and before I can ask what's wrong he's got us staggering to our feet. Returning to the toy drawer, Ruvik takes out another silicon toy.

'We're going to need a better warmup.'

I silently agree with him, my questions answered before I could ask them. Then we're on the floor again. A fresh coating of lube making the smaller more traditionally shaped sex toy glisten in the well-lit bedroom.

I look into my own eyes seeing the glint of mischief from Ruvik looking back at me.

'You look so delicious when you're like this. I have no idea how you manage to look so innocent even when you're indulging our perverse desires.'

Without warning Ruvik buried the silicon shaft as deep as he could into us. Pushing it in until the base was flush against our backside. I let out a cry of surprise that fills the air, too loud to be kept inside.

'Shush, that didn't hurt at all, did It?'

I nod my head. My insides tighten up around the toy in reaction to the sudden penetration, but it doesn't hurt. We do this so often and I'm used to rougher treatment.

My shoulders arched back into the pillow under my neck, the leg I'm holding up in the air trembling as Ruvik starts to move the toy in the oh-so familiar pattern. I brace my toes against the mirror. If this were a normal day this is when I would start begging Ruvik to go faster, but I have to be patient.

Ruvik twists our wrist with every thrust, trying new angles, using the toy much like his fingers, stretching and teasing.

I don't notice I've closed our eyes until Ruvik chastises me for it. I snap to attention, lifting our head up. Our cock is so hard. I can feel the rush of blood just under the skin. A flutter of nerves strikes through me. I'm embarrassed by seeing our body and Ruvik knows it.

'if you can't relax while watching yourself, it's going to become a bigger a problem. Perhaps it would be better if you didn't see at all.'

Without another warning everything goes black. With little more than a thought, Ruvik blocks my access to our vision. The other senses prickle, becoming keener to fill in for the missing one. I could fight to take my sight back, but I like this idea. If I can't see what's coming next I won't be scared.

'I think we're ready now'

Ruvik takes control of all of our body. I whisper my thanks to him. I wasn't sure if I would be able to manage on my own. I wouldn't be able to hold our body still or push against our limits. Not as well as Ruvik.

The smaller toy makes a slick sound as Ruvik pulls it out. He takes a moment to admire how our body looks, posing us with legs open and hips tilted upward. I can feel the thrill of anticipation Ruvik gets from it, though I'm glad I can't see what a state our body must be in.

Ruvik runs his hands up and down our new toy, covering it in a fresh handful of lube, but also to get acquainted with all the new edges and curves.

'I'm confident this won't cause any injury. But it will be intense, and perhaps more than a little painful. Are you ready for that?'

I assure Ruvik that I am. He knows how much I want this. He can feel just as strongly as I can feel his barely contained lust.

Ruvik sets our new toy into place on the floor. I can't see to be sure, but I think my blush gets even redder when I think about how were just going to sit on it. Ruvik chuckles, his ominous laugh sounding strange in my softer voice.

'We're going to need gravity to help.'

He pulls our body up onto our knees hands bracing on the glass. I can feel our eyes staring at my reflection, the curved head of the toy prods our entrance, Ruvik is holding our hips perfectly still. I don't know if he's waiting for me to ask him for it or just to enjoy the sight a little longer.

A moment later I discover he was simply waiting for a distraction. The second my mind wanders he pulls me back. Sending my half of our mind reeling. By the time I process what's going on, the tip of the toy in already inside and the ridges are brushing up against my sweet spot. I gasp for my breath, moaning on the exhale. Ruvik relishes my reaction. Whatever face I'm making right now, I can feel it spark his ravenous hunger. Once it would have scared me. Now I want to give myself to him just as badly as he wants me.

Ruvik moves our body steadily. Every inch of firm silicon filling us up hits different spots and stretches us open further.

'Do you like it?'

The question is almost rhetorical. Ruvik knows that if I were in control of anything more than our expression and voice, that part would be shaking uncontrollably in pure bliss. But Ruvik wants me to answer, and I will speak for him.

"y-yes, yes, yes, ye-" a have to pause to breath. I have no idea how much of the toy is inside already but the thickness is starting to push my limits. "More." The new word springs to my lips. I-I want more... Ruvik, pl-please!"

Usually Ruvik is immune to my begging, though he always loves to hear it. But I can feel his nerves fraying. He's feeling everything that I am. Biologically we're so close it's impossible for Ruvik to test me without experience it first-hand.

Ruvik shifts putting more of our weight into it. He closes our fingers into fists so tight our fingernails almost brake the skin. He doubles us over onto all fours our shoulders and back arching.

It hurts, but in a good way. A pressing fullness that I've learned to ache for. The ridges are getting larger. My connection to our body is severed but Ruvik can feel my conciseness react. I'm writhing on the inside, held still in his hold.

I can't give myself to him more that I already have, but the desire is still there anyway. We're closer than any two could ever be and still I want more.

'You're so greedy Leslie. Am I not enough for you?'

I can feel the strain in Ruvik's teasing. He's near the edge of his own ability to think clearly while I've topped off that ledge completely.

"I-I love you." I make our mouth say the words. It's at moments like these I feel as if I can say anything. Open my heart completely and let all of my secrets spill out. "I… I love you so much!"

Ruvik shushes me. Physically clamping a hand over our mouth. For a moment I'm worried, wondering why he's not answering my desperate confession. Then he lets our legs go slack. The thickest part of our toy in near the base. A bulge called a knot. It takes me a good five seconds after Ruvik forces it inside us until I realize what the fuck just happened to me.

I almost passed out. I could feel my mind swimming and spinning at this intense abuse of our sweet spot. I want to laugh, some part of me truly didn't believe we would actually make it this far.

'-and I deeply care for you, my pet.' Ruvik purrs. Lucky his voice in in our mind because I can hear anything over our panting and galloping heartrate.

It's not Ruvik penetrating me, but I fantasize that it is. Ruvik pauses give our body a second to rest. A feel his fingers trail over my cheeks. It's a phantom sensation but it's so much easier to pretend it's real when I can't see.

We're laying on out back on the floor now. Ruvik is still watching. In a few moments were steady enough to move again. Ruvik reaches between our legs, our cock throbs painfully but we can't give into the temptation. Release when it comes will better for our restraint.

Ruvik grasps the base of our toy and tugs. I let out a yelp that quickly melts into a moan of bliss. Just that tiny movement felt so good. I can feel the firm silicon shaft so deep inside, my tummy hurts a little.

I feel a shiver of delight from Ruvik. For once his racing thoughts have calmed. My curiosity gets the better of me.

'I didn't think this was even possible. Perhaps because you're so naturally thin…'

He's teasing me. I'm about to ask what he means, when suddenly light is pouring in and I can see again. A wild eyed albino is looking back at me in the glass. I'm covered in sweat and my hair is ruffled up in the back.

"Ruvik!" I protest. But he hushes me and draws my attention to our lower tummy. He moves our hand shifting the toy inside us. I wince, gritting our teeth to hold back a moan.

Then I see what delighted him. There's a tiny protrusion just below my belly button, shifting when Ruvik moves the toy. A graphic reminder of how deep inside us it is.

'Leslie. My little  _slut_.'

His scientific curiosity put aside, Ruvik's mood changes. Sometimes I forget how predatory he can be. Seeing our body, though I know he's thinking of it as mine at the moment, pushed to my very limit sends him into a frenzy like a shark smelling blood in the water.

And in that moment I'm scared of him once more.

He tugs on the toy hard, I cry out but it won't move. The fit is so tight, especially the knot pressing against our prostate.

'So greedy. You don't want to give it up.'

I hear the sound of Ruvik clicking his tongue in disapproval.

I'm blind again, and no longer in control of any part of us. But I can still feel everything that happening to our body. Ruvik wants to keep my desperate cries to himself, to remember and treasure. Ruvik tugs and wiggles the toy inside us, trying to slip it free. I thrash against my mental bonds. But not to escape, simply because I can't hold still. Every single movement is a tangle of pleasure and pain.

Amazingly the knot comes free, I didn't think that it would feel even better when taken out, but it does. I'm pretty sure I'm still screaming in bliss but I can't think strait enough to tell for sure. The whole toy comes free, Ruvik rests it with only the tip still inside.

My consciousness is little more than a quivering ball of hyper sensitively. Forced to feel the full brunt of sensation while Ruvik does whatever he pleases to our body.

'That was only the first thrust.'

I can only answer him with a whimper.

"You always make braking you so incredibly amusing." Ruvik purred aloud in our voice. "You seem so fragile. Yet you beg me to push you and hurt you, then bask in the torture and overload of your senses."

"Your addiction come at the price of giving yourself entirely to me. And you practically beg me to let you pay it."

Ruvik is getting lost in his own ramblings. He's not saying anything either of us don't know, but I think he likes to remind himself. Maybe it's as close as he can get to saying 'I love you'.

'Ruvik. Fuck me please.' I've recovered enough to form full sentences again. Enough testing the waters. I can't take the knot again but the rest of the shaft is plenty thick enough to be worth a long ride. I cling to his presence inside my mind. Urging him to start moving.

Ruvik nods our head. He braces the base of the toy against the floor and lines up our hips again. Then without warning he passes over control of our body to me. I'm so shocked by the sudden switch that I sit down without thinking. The silicon shaft slips inside again easily, drawing out another moan.

I close my eyes and when I open them again our bedroom is gone. Replaced by an oh-so familiar sea of sunflowers. I feel hot skin under my fingers and when I glace down my eyes meet Ruvik's cool golden gaze. My heart leaps in my chest. It feels like ages since I've seen him. It's stupid really, to long for someone who's a part of you, but I do miss seeing him. Or at least a memory of what he used to look like. I cup his cheeks in my hands running my thumb over his scar covering his jaw.

I was so distracted I hardly noticed we were both naked and in mid-cotuis. Ruvik creates hallucinations like this for me all the time. Though we don't usually combine physical stimulation with fantasy. It's hard for Ruvik to concentrate on both at the same time.

Sensing his impatience I nod and start to move my hips. I'm curious to see how Ruvik rectified the usual shape of our toy with this new fantasy but not enough to brake my pace. All I need to think about now is my own pleasure and the man who's giving it to me.

Ruvik sits up and wraps his arms around my hips. I hug him back squeezing with every ounce of strength I can muster. He's taller than me so I need to lean up to kiss him. The sensation of his mismatched lips, scarred on the bottom and rough on the top, is half my imagination and half memories of the first time Ruvik's scientific curiosity gave way to unmasked attraction.

To this day I don't think I deserve it, but I'm long past questioning why.

I don't last as long as I would like. Once I'm wrapped in his arms it's so easy to lose myself, and when he hit the peak it's always together, and for a moment neither of us can tell what thoughts are mine and which are his.

The harsh light from the window in our bedroom wakes me. Everything hurts. I reach out to Ruvik, he's given me control of our body. I'm used to his reaction at this point but I never grew to dislike it any less.

Ruvik enjoys being so close to me, but when the high fades and his thoughts clear he will slink away again. He's afraid of something. Maybe it's simply a matter of protecting his identity or maybe the lingering feeling of past losses holds him back.

I never wanted to replace her. But loving someone else feels like betrayal to him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to convince him otherwise.

It takes a few moments to remove the sculpted toy. If I move to fast it hurts and I have to rest before trying again.

I'm so tired that dinner had lost most of its appeal. I can see to it later, as well as putting away our toys.

My hips and tummy protest even the few steps to our bed. I collapsed onto the feather duvet just finding enough energy to nuzzle under it.

A faint sensation runs down my back, Ruvik rubbing my back. He knows it helps me sleep.

"…love you to..." I murmur into the pillow. I have to read between the lines but I know how he feels. After all, we do share everything.


End file.
